Unfazed

no matter the story

driving home 
autumn sun shone
diffuse gold through
my dirty windshield

my heart 
already swollen 
with your  
honey-warm presence

so easily 
taken by 
the beauty of
your lovelight 

the way you 
shine right through
smudges and smears
of windows and worlds

of wounded years
unfazed
unstoppable
no matter the story


you gaze
and you love
turning grime
into glory. 

~Cheryl Anne Maris 

I did not know, when I wrote this piece earlier in the week, that by week's end I would be encouraged by a publisher to write a spiritual memoir. In typing the words of the poem for this post, and recalling (and re-feeling) the moment that inspired them, I see, in the poem, a premonition, and a microcosm of how it might feel to tell the story of my spiritual experience and its intersection with neurodivergence, trauma, mental illness, and creativity. How my life has often felt like a dirty window, somehow made beautiful through the visitation of a wild washing of golden light; totally unfazed and unhindered by the grime. I can only hope, as I aspire to deep courage in revisiting, and total honesty in writing, that I will be able to see my life through the lens of that imperturbable lovelight. 

Have you ever experienced beauty augmented by imperfection? 
In a moment, in a person, in yourself?