even if

acceptance and thanks

even if
no words come
I am so thankful for
this wild swirling in my soul
which reminds me I am part of
the whole wild wondrous swirling of Life

even if
no strength comes
and I live always with
weariness, weakness, and pain
I am thankful to feel what is raw and real
and know even so I remain in the Greater Strength of Love

A few days ago marked the one year anniversary of the inception of this space for sharing some of my writings, which means it has also been one year since my cancer surgery. I have managed to honor most of my intentions in relation to keeping this space. I was a couple of days late with a few posts, but did post twice weekly for the duration of the year. I still owe personal poems to a few Founding Members; a promise I will seek to fulfill as I settle into a new little home and more livable work schedule. I am thankful for the grace extended by those folks as this past year brought with it more upheaval than I could have anticipated. Which brings me around to the poem I chose to share today. It was written ten years ago, but could have been written ten minutes ago, as my essential perspective and day-to-day struggles have remained largely the same. I suppose I am chronically myself. 
I had considered changing the name and focus of this space at the occasion of the one year point. I have attempted to reinvent myself creatively a few times over the years; thinking perhaps I might be able to reshape my thinking and feeling by seeking to live into a title that carried a different energy signature. Alas, I find myself still very much needing to warm myself by Brigid's Hearth in this little abbey of my broken, chronically hopeful heart. If anything, I feel inclined to nestle more deeply into this heart-space as an act of greater acceptance of who and how and where I actually am. 
One thing that will be changing here is the regular Tuesday/Saturday pattern of posting. It's been a good discipline, but I would like to loosen that a bit and share more spontaneously. I promise not to inundate anyone's inbox. Everything here is available to read without the necessity of subscription or emails, though it is nice knowing who is stopping by. 
My heartfelt thanks once again to those who were supportive of the founding of Brigid's Hearth at Oak Abbey. The financial help last year, through my time of recovery and income loss, made a beautiful difference. 
You all remain in my heart and prayers, with great love and gratitude.
Even if no words come,
~Cheryl Anne