The day is bright and warm. There is deep greening, and baking earth-smells. The sky, clear blue, save for the occasional brushstroke wisp of cloud. Fragrant color-bursts dot the landscape; sweet candy to the eye. Small animals and birds scuttle and flit about Mother’s Playground. Most would look upon this day with a smile of gratitude for its beauty; late summer at its finest. But I carry within my bones Another Day. Moist and muted, earthen hued, drenched in cool wonder. Brown, orange, yellow, red-flame leaves fainting and falling. Trampled shiny-slick, they become a pliable path to slowly stroll or pause to ponder Mystery. Yes! Mystery is damp and cool. She is still and dark. She gathers and stores, preparing to sleep sound till searching beams of light disclose Her. I close my eyes and beg a foretaste of Autumn’s luscious breath upon my face. I kneel to rake the hot, sun-crusted surface beneath my feet, praying my hands to meet a well hidden delicious darkness; a rich silvery chill in Her depths. She is near. Autumn is never really gone, as nothing is. Oh Sweet Mystery, ever the reliable surprise! Come! Cover me, comfort me, oh noble grey skies! ~Cheryl Anne Maris
These words were written a quarter century ago, but the feeling I had writing them is as potent as a freshly brewed cup of strong coffee. In all the ways I have changed over the many years since penning this piece, my autumnal longing remains intact. Admittedly, as I have grown older, I have “warmed up” (pun absolutely intended!) to the gifts of springtime, but somehow the autumn feels like my first love where the seasons are concerned. Autumn is where I found a home for my melancholy as a child; where I felt somehow understood and held in her surrendering softness. Walking through the season of autumn, to me, is like a gentle stroll with an old, trusted friend; a friend I am in particular need of during this time of recovering from surgery, awaiting news of the staging of the cancer, potential further treatment, and questions surrounding work and housing. In the midst of all the unknowns, it is comforting to know that although summer may protest and push back a bit, the reliable surprise of autumn will arrive when I need her wisdom and companionship the most. For that I am deeply grateful!
Do you have a special relationship with a particular season? One in which you feel a greater sense of comfort, and belonging? I would love to hear from you!
You took me back to the path around the Lake in Fergus Falls, MN when I was in my first pastorate more than a quarter of a century ago (has it been that long? another lifetime). Walking through the leaves I still remember the crunch of the leaves and the smells of autumn, including fires in the fireplaces of the houses around the lake. Today it is humid with on and off again rain in the forecast here in Mobile. The birds are singing as I sit in the back garden with my morning coffee. Sending you much love as we continue to hold you in our hearts and our prayers my dear and precious Sister 💖🙏🐾✨🌹